Guelph Police Got Some Wild Stuff Going On 💀

The Deets

Alright, listen up, Guelph is serving some serious drama. The Guelph Police are, like, swamped with cases. First off, they're on the lookout for a potential serial creep after two reports of indecent exposure over the weekend. Apparently, a woman saw some dude getting his freak on while walking on Edinburgh Road South. He's described as a white dude, late 30s, with longish blonde hair, rocking a green hat, white sweater and shorts, white sneakers, and a backpack. Like, who dresses like that? 🤨

Then, on Sunday, a jogger spotted a whole nude dude straight up vibing in the woods near York Road. This guy was also white, 30s-ish, with a beard and a green hat and backpack. Sketchy, right? Police are tryna figure out if it's the same dude pulling a double whammy.

But wait, there's more! Some absolute psycho kidnapped a bar employee, held her hostage, assaulted her, and harassed her. She managed to escape, which is a major W for her! Then this dude kept calling her tryna get her stuff back. Like, bro, you just kidnapped her! What kinda messed up logic is that?!

And get this, a dog went missing after a break-in. Thankfully, the pup was found safe, so that's a major relief! But some fresh Air Force 1s were stolen in the process. 👟 Smh, priorities people.

Next up, some 81-year-old dude straight up punched a manager at a store over a return. Like, chill out, grandpa! 👊 And to top it all off, some dude pointed a fake gun at his sister during a family fight. Talk about awkward Thanksgiving dinner. 😬

Last but not least, someone stole a car from a driveway and torched it in a field. Like, who even does that?! 🔥

So yeah, Guelph is wildin' right now. If you got any info on any of this mess, hit up the Guelph Police Service. Stay safe out there, fam! 🙏